Thursday, March 3, 2011 at 3:46pmI failed my geology test. Not a big deal. The grade is based on the higher of the test averages or the final. All I need to do is rock the final (did you see what I did there? geology. rock. yeah. that was me.)
Thus began my day.
And then I went to my gyn follow-up from the last surgery. As we suspected from the continued blood loss, the surgery was not successful. My hemoglobin level has continued to fall.
Sometimes words get in the way of what needs to be said. In trying to find a way to approach the actual subject, I've only flirted with the edges. I received more news today. The latest lab results show a reason for my continual blood loss. The initial biopsy was incorrect. I do, in fact, have uterine cancer. In "several areas."
If you've been following these notes and my ongoing health saga, you'll remember that when a hysterectomy was attempted in January it had to be called off due to extreme scar tissue adhesions throughout my abdomen. At that time, my doctor informed me that no one in their right mind would go ahead with the hysterectomy in my condition - that if I did it would be a minimum of a 6 hour surgery with a team of surgeons and I'd have an 85% chance of not making it. That's a 15% chance of successfully waking up from the surgery - even less of a chance of coming through with no complications. Now she says that where the risks were too high then, at this point the risks of NOT doing the procedure are too high. In other words, if I choose not to take the risk of the surgery, I will die. She is not an oncologist, so we didn't talk about timeframes, but the reality of the situation is slowly sinking in.
Forgive me, my friends, if I am not my usual upbeat self for a little while. I'm still processing all of the information from today.